Breaking News

How to “Prefaricate in Zorg.”

How to “Prefaricate in Zorg.”

If you are wondering how to prefaricate in Zorg, then you’ve come to the right place. In fact the ONLY place. Nowhere else on the internet, in this earth or in this universe will you discover the meaning of this action. I know this for a fact since I invented the word prefaricate, which means “The action of prefarication.” for use when I need to confuse someone long enough for me to disappear in the crowd!

As for Zorg, well that’s a whole other story. We live in a small town, and we never seem to get rain, new shops, celebrity visits or any events worth mentioning. The weather forcast tells us all week long that we can expect 100% rain, with heavy falls, and we must keep our kids indoors and board up the windows. And we don’t even get a cloud; bright blue sky all week long. But a few miles out of town it’s raining cats and dogs.

So I realised that long ago, a planet called Zorg passed by too close to the earth. The strong gravity ripped off a piece of Zorg, which fell to earth and embedded itself in the area where I live. So we get Zorgian weather, Zorgian people, Zorgian celebrities (who nobody knows on earth) and strange Zorgian shops selling vetkoek and skilpaaitjies.

So I need to tune in to the Zorgian weather forcast to find out when the rain is coming, but the rogue planet is now so far away in the universe that I can’t get a good signal. But in anycase I don’t think the Zorgian planet has rain, because the Zorgs have no water in their bodies, but are made up of Zorganium paste.

Sometimes an earthly cloud wanders in here and leaks on our crops, giving them false hope, and they grow a little so they can die later. My vegetable garden looks like death valley in the summer. Just drier and hotter. The tomatoes that managed to survive, because I put a wooden roof over them, look like little red ballbearings. And the pumpkins have a vague resemblance to a granadilla with measles.

We often travel out of Zorg in search of civilisation, and it’s a real treat to go into a store and actually find what you’re looking for! These places also have water and green plants growing there that are totally unshrivelled.

Zorg has it’s advantages, especially if you are a fugitive and don’t want anybody to find you, or you want to run some nefarious business that has an untraceable address. Also great for suntanning and solar farms. Just bring your own drinks!

Anyway, enough prefaricating. You must visit us some time so you can realise how lucky you are to live where you do!